Wow..way too long between posts…

Ok.. so a lot has happened and maybe not enough has happened. I wonder sometimes.

My family is doing very well.

Son is having a much better time in 3rd grade than 2nd. Many things contribute to this, I know. He started with the other kids instead of the middle of the year. He has had an excellent IEP in place since the very 1st day of school and it has made all the difference. Plus, his home routine has smoothed out and stabilized tremendously. I realized early in with him that reliable routine is his personal secret for success. If he knows what to expect by what day it is, he functions extremely well and has next to no anxiety. So, even though there are still many things to be resolved between Husband and me, I think that us co-parenting, under the same roof  as a reliably united front has helped him tremendously.

Daughter is still living with my parents. I miss her like crazy some days and we really have to work at getting time together cause she is so busy, but she is doing incredibly well in that GED program at the career center. She just got certified in her microsoft class and she is taking the last of the GED tests this AM. Yesterday waws her last day of “school” there. When she goes back on Monday she will be working for Sally, doing whatever she needs from computer tasks and making copies to helping another student understand his or her assignment.

Husband got his Voc Rehab and he’s thrown himself into being a student. They are paying for school,, full ride plus supplies and something to live on. This is truly an answer to prayer. He’s wants to do a degree in mechanical engineering at Umass Dartmouth. He’s been out of school for a really long time though so the Umass guy said for him to do a few credits at Massasoit, then he’ll take him at Umass.

We only have the one car now. So Tuesdays and Thursdays I am on my own getting Son to the bus, and then left alone for the day in the house. First I was just binge watching whatever I could lose myslef in to fill the hours or playing games on the computer, jumping from fcebook to pogo to big fish. Maintainting level and raising scores like these things matter to my life.I have felt some measure of guilt or need to show that I accomplished something in the hours and hours that he was off learning and my kids were doing what they were supposed to be doing, but I was just wasting away and I’m not even wasted anymore.

I am heavy.. not just fat I feel heavy when my knees are flared like this. When I stand up, the pain is tremendous. i don’t know what t o do. I meet with a knee surgeon from Tufts  and i am sure that they are gonna tell me that I need to lose 80 lbs before they’ll do anything because my size combined with the other risk factors makes me a too big of a risk and guarunttes needing to do the op agoin way too   soon., end up in a wheelchir blah diddy blah blah!

The thing is, I HATE being this size. And… I’m overtired and emotional so I will post more later




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