Anyone who’s reading this that’s in recovery had probably heard that phrase as a suggestion at some point. 90 meetings in 90 days. I never did that, but my recovery has been unconventional to say the least and not really anything that I would consider something to model one’s journey after..
Still though, as an addict, and a person who has always been notoriously bad at sticking to things, and as someone who is recently refreshing her commitment to “the halls” because so many life stresses giving me so many fears of relapse, I’ve decided to do my own version of 90 in 90, by doing 90 posts in 90 days. This post will mark my third in a row in three days so after I finish this, 87 to go!!
WordPress just informed me when I logged in today that I have 10+ followers! That’s probably a drop in the bucket to most real bloggers but to someone super rustily returning to writing I can truly say I am immensely grateful for every like, share, comment and follow. It gives me a reason to get out of bed and post again, even when every demon voice in my head is telling me that nothing i do matters, particularly not my writing.
The first song in the clip above is one of my favorite songs on recovery by one of my favorite artists (recovery or otherwise). His name is Loudon Wainright the third. I discovered him after re-watching 28 Days, not the highly popular zombie film, but the largely panned film about rehab starring Sandra Bullock. I actually happen to love this movie. I loved it when I was still actively using and I have an even bigger soft spot for it now that I am trying to live on the straight and narrow.
As far as I can tell the 2 songs must have been outtakes because in the movie itself Loudon is an unnamed patient only featured in a couple of humorous spots lasting about 30 seconds each. But looking him up after I watched this movie post detox, I found this video and immediately became a fan. It turns out that the whole Wainwright family is musical. Further YouTube exploration revealed that I am also a fan of his daughter Lucy and then I realized that I am a fan of his son Rufus, whose song “Hallelujah” was a great favorite of my brother John. in fact, the Wainwright family had been musically influencing my family for years before I realized it. One of my earliest memories is of my mother and her friend Sabrina dancing barefoot around the tiny apartment kitchen they shared as single moms singing Loudon’s “Dead Skunk” while Sabrina’s son and my best friend, Sequoia looked on in disbelief that moms could be so weird.
Since detox, I become even more obsessed than I used to be with watching movies and shows about addicts. Not only that, but re-watching movies as a detoxed person that I had watched first as an active user, I began to see unrepentant addicts in all sorts of places. Like Jeff Goldblum in “The Fly”. Of course, I’m not the only one who saw that. Really, I’m not.
Then of course, there was the powerful media that really was about addiction. Like “Flight.”
Wow. Since nothing I could write could really top that art and I’ve gotten as clip happy as I probably should I’ll sign off now. Next post I’ll tell you all how Lena Dunham saved me from relapse. 87 to go.