Recently when I agreed to try Kindle Unlimited, it somehow ended up giving me a free Audible credit. I absolutely adore audiobooks but never, ever spend money on them. I cannot abide the idea of spending $40+ dollars to have a professional read a book to me that I can read to myself for free. But still, I love audioboooks, I find them soothing.
I suppose it goes back to one of the few good memories of my childhood. When I was 10, my grandparents sent me a present of 2 audiobooks. Back then of course, it was books on tape and each book had a couple of tapes. They sent John Steinbeck’s ” The Red Pony” and a Dr Seuss set which had “And to think that I saw it on Mulberry Street” and “Gertrude McFuzz”.
I was a voracious reader as a child, still am, but there was something about the soothing delight of being read to. I had developed awful nightmares by that point and insomnia as a result. I still needed to get up in the morning for school and I couldn’t function well educationally without sleep. It was a constant battle between me and my parents to get me in bed at a proper time.
The tapes ended up being a good solution for us though. My kids are insomniac and books on tape help them as well. I listened to the same words being read over and over until I fell asleep. I had the two sets, the Steinbeck and the Seuss, obviously markedly different, so my mood as I laid down dictated who I would listen to that evening.
Anyway, I got this free credit and spent it on Wally Lamb’s “She’s Come Undone,” a book I knew I loved, but am now rediscovering a whole new way. I am a huge Wally Lamb fan and am amazed by the way that he can write first person FEMALE perspective and be convincing. Not only that but he touches on addiction, obesity, disability, marital issues, and loss, with a heart that touches mine. hearing it read aloud by Linda Stephens, who I find hugely talented in her own right, is absorbing and extremely touching at the same time.
I need absorbing right now. I am in a flare. I need a round of doctors appointments, I know, if there is to be any solution or even help for symptoms of my body’s current state. However, being fucking miserable does not in any way shape or form enhance my desire to be on the phone for hours a day to get the appointments for which I will wait weeks to probably be told this is par for the course with my illness.
I will make appointments and I will go to the doctor.
But right now, I just want relief. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. In honor of my dearly departed brother, who knew all too well how the hell of chronic pain wreaks havoc with the desire to seek out proper medical care, and also because he was a huge fan, I give you, The Ramones.