Trick or treat

Son was Darth Vader and we went to  Trunks for Treats celebration at a local church.  He got quite a bit of candy in the Star Wars bag that went with his costume. I had hot cider and then hot chocolate with orange marshmallows that had a bit of an aftertaste. 

Husband has been feeling better lately.  He marvels at the fact that he can manage a whole school day and still have energy afterwards.  We did the circuit at Trunks then he wanted to go somewhere else.  My bad foot was hurting fiercely and all I could think of was getting inside, out of my shoes, and into my recliner. 

So I told them to go out to eat without me, then felt hurt when he did so without protest.  I am glad that he’s feeling better.  I am. But feeling better has done nothing for the fact that his personality seems to be constantly set on Hyde the micromanaging control freak. Never Jekyll.  Never compassionate.  Never romantic. 

When I was in the hospital he missed me & craved time with me. Now that I’m out.. fatigued and swollen and still healing, he really can’t seem to be bothered. He reminds me to take meds (my antibiotics) lectures me about not giving in to depression and accuses me of overdoing the Suboxone. 

I’m sad, sore and lonely. I want a sugar coated, opiate laden pity party.  I’m probably not going to get what I’m looking for.  The question is: can I endure the way my life is and or make it better as opposed to making it exponentially worse.

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