Third Eye Blind – Semi-Charmed Life (HQ) [Officia…: http://youtu.be/MyjTrwOMSO4
To me, though this catchy little ditty seems an ode to music,meth and relationships it is a surprisingly apt summary of what active opiate addiction was for me.
I rationalized every extra pill or patch as needed to “get me through” whatever challenge I was facing at the moment. Dishes,laundry, family activities,intimacy, facing the increasing havoc I was wreaking..
But even though opiates and extra opiates brought confidence and motivation and pain relief and productivity I couldn’t ever get enough which brought about the destruction and I needed to get better for my and my family’s sake.
Now we are in a much better place financial, marital, parental and personal but the pain and fatigue is wearying bullshit!!
So in counseling today we set some goals to the end of pain relief, productivity, and motivation without life threatening active addiction.