I really wasn’t looking forward to today. I had my first injection scheduled with this new pain doctor I am seeking help from and as it was my knee scheduled to be injected and I had a bad experience last time, all of my anxious, self-sabotaging impulses were in full swing telling me to reschedule. Or even better, cancel. Sure, I’d never know what this doctor could do for me but by never giving him a chance he’d also be unable to hurt me right?
Another reason to avoid him was that he had ordered x-rays of my spine. I avoid x-rays like the plague as I hate being up on that hard ass table and then being bent in to awkward painful positions and told to hold still and hold my breath while they take forever getting the picture right.
But I want to meet my goals, and part of being able to meet difficult goals is pushing past my fears and keeping appointments even when I really, really don’t want to. So I pulled up my big girl pants and suffered through the x-rays (just as bad as I thought) and got my right knee injected (not horrible at all, he uses an x-ray technique to guide his needle, thus making this the least painful joint injection I’ve ever experienced!).
Today I am grateful that I pushed past anxiety and self sabotage to accomplish neccessary medical procedures and make headway towards my goals.