I have a much longer, in depth post that I am working on but our laptop is having major connectivity issues so I am posting tonight from my phone.
I find this incredibly frustrating because I really wanted to share what was in my heart (mixed in all throughout the other post) but I can’t do a real big post from my phone because instead of typing with two hands as I so carefully learned in my freshman typing class I’m hunting and pecking with one swollen finger.
Side note: I can see more progression of the rheumatoid in my wrists, hands and especially fingers which is scary and sad for me. Even though I’ve been battling this heinous disease since my mid 20s, my hands were remarkably untouched by it up until around 2012 or so. Before that even specialists were amazed at how destroyed my wrists were while my hands and fingers were completely untouched.
I got spoiled to that and even a little cocky, somehow thinking that my hands were off limits to the autoimmune disease that had no problem ravaging all my other joints and taking my independence away piece by piece.
Then in the winter of 2012, I began to feel RA slowly invading my hands and fingers. The waspy acid sting in the joint space, the tightly puffed and swollen clumsiness of morning time. Gradually my index and middle finger of each hand began to change shape and the new joint formation stayed. The idea that my hands could become as ravaged and useless as my wrists or knees is absolutely terrifying.
I’m frustrated, scared and sad right now.
I am thankful that I had a good visit to the library with Son today. They were kind and welcoming and gave a calendar of free events some of which Son might actually enjoy.
3 of 30.